Why I Became an Atheist: 4 Reasons and 3 Stories Why I Chose Not To Be a Part of RKC



 Read in English      Beri v slovenščini

Okay, so here’s the thing. I wasn’t always an atheist. I was raised in Roman Catholic family, and honestly, I had no saying at choosing my religion.

I was baptized when I was a baby – so obviously there was no consent here. It wasn’t even because my family would be super into religion, it was just tradition. Then my mom and grandma made me go to church every Sunday morning, which was a pain in the ass because the best cartoons were on TV at that time and I had to video tape them. Yup, that was a while ago.

I mean, what was the point of all that? It’s not like I understood anything the priest said. It was cold in the church. It smelled of old people. And I was always itchy all over for some reason. An hour of trying not to fall asleep.

At the age of 5 they stuck me into Sunday school.  The first thing the priest told us was that there was no Miklavž (a Slovenian equivalent of Santa Claus). Of course, like smart little kids we chose not to believe him – because who would believe anything an uptight old man tells you.



At the age of 6 I received my first communion. I remember being excited – not because I’d actually care about the religious aspect of it all, but because I got to wear a pretty, fluffy, white dress.

Children simply don’t understand the concept of religion, they see everything as a game. Which is truly a sad thing, because no one should be force-fed and brain washed the way we were. I still know all the prayers, the 10 commandments, everything. I could’ve used that time to learn about astrophysics, or how to play the piano…

I believed in god when I was a kid. But I only believed in him because my parents told me he exists, and you’re not supposed to argue with an adult. Then again, at that time I believed in Miklavž, Santa and the Tooth Fairy. Because the grownups told me they were real; so believing in god was not my belief, but it was the belief of others that they just copy + pasted on me.

Then the stories started.

The priest that taught us in Sunday school was actually a good guy, he still is. It’s just his opinions that were entirely misguided.

     1.     He told us (girls only) that we should always clean our rooms, and our rooms should be spotless, because when a guy comes to see us,  the first thing he will do – he will look into our closets to see if we’re a good maid, thus suitable for marriage. He didn’t say that to the boys. I mean, that pissed me off when I was 9 years all, and the stupidity of it still makes me angry to this day.




     2.     He told us a story about a guy who refused to believe in god. Apparently this guy denounced god and one day he tried crossing a railway. The train hit him and his wounds were like this: holes and fractures in both of his wrists, both his legs and his torso, plus a wounded forehead. Yeah, Jesus wounds. This was apparently god telling him he was real. What a nice dude.

     3.     One day he started handing out pamphlets. After closer examination they were – anti-gay, or the proper term – homophobic pamphlets. The kind that said – ‘pray the gay away’. There was a bunch of institutions where you could go to cure yourself of your ‘gayness’, and when we told the priest that he was wrong and that being gay is not a disease, he just shook his head and calmly said ‘it is a disease, there’s something wrong with these people’.


     4.     We were talking about evolution. The priest simply said that whoever believes in evolution and that we evolved from primates – we can go visit our family at the ZOO. Yes, because Adam and Eve makes WAY more sense.



I know this priest sounds awful, but he is a good guy, it’s just the things he was taught are extremely wrong.

Eventually, I read the entire Bible. I could not believe some stories.

1. The story of Job – the Devil and God make a wager that Job will renounce God if he kills all of his family… God really kills all of his children, but because Job doesn’t stop praising him he eventually gives him new (different) ones. He makes the wife suffer, as well. How is god a good guy here?

2. The story of Abraham and his son – God decided to test Abraham so he told him to sacrifice his son to see if he’ll really do it – he did told him to stop just before Abraham killed his son, but still. By this point, I really couldn’t see why people choose to blindly follow a god like that.

3. There was another story which title I don’t remember, but I know it was about a bunch of soldiers who were supposed to guard a treasure. I’m not sure if they were tricked, or if they just fell asleep, but they failed and the treasure was gone. God punished them by killing them, their wives and their children.

With this story I understood that women and children meant nothing, they were a property of a man, and they were at fault for all his crimes even though themselves were innocent.

I refused to believe in a god like this, but by then the question was actually – do I even believe in a god? In any god? A goddess? Gods? A deity?

I did not.

I never did, because it wasn’t MY belief, it was only borrowed from other people, if that makes sense.

I have nothing against religious people, actually, I envy their faith because I know how warm it feels to always ‘know’ there’s a reason for everything.


My only opinion here is that there should be no ‘inherited’ religion. Religion is a big thing, and I feel it’s disrespectful to pretend to be of certain religion if you don’t believe in their teachings. Religion is a choice, a grownup choice that should be only taught to adults because of its severity and impact on a person’s life. They shouldn’t mold children by their beliefs, they should give them choices, other stories, other views.


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Komentarji

  1. Smelled of old people??
    Somewhere smells like black people...or gay people..
    This is quite rude right?

    OdgovoriIzbriši
    Odgovori
    1. There is no such thing as 'smells like gay people or black people', however there is such a thing as old people smell:

      "Many people are familiar with it: the grassy or greasy odor that permeates elder care facilities, grandparents' homes and other similar places. Commonly referred to as "old people smell," this odor is called "nonenal,"

      I'm not trying to be rude, I'm simply trying to recreate the 'atmosphere' of the church I felt as a child.

      Izbriši
  2. Super si to napisala, bolj se ne bi mogla strinjat s tabo :)

    OdgovoriIzbriši
    Odgovori
    1. Hvala Sabina, me je ta zgodba mučila že več let, sem jo morala dat na papir oz. ekran :)

      Izbriši

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