I'd Rather Be the Mean Bitch than a Doormat



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I know pretty damn well that many people has regarded me as someone who’s suddenly ‘turned bitch’ in the last year or so.

I’ve always been nice to people, but the problem was – I was being too nice.

I held my opinions and my emotions to myself and suffered in secret. You know, so I wouldn’t hurt someone’s feelings. And it sucked.

I knew that standing up for myself, or saying things out loud, or writing them in a blog will hurt someone’s feelings or the very least, bruise their ego. Am I sorry for it? I’m not entirely okay with the situation I’m in, but no, I’m not sorry.

Those things needed to be said out loud, or at least written out.

I had grown tired of always being the last one to call, or not even that, of being left out, or of being treated as a ‘lesser friend’, or ‘only a friend’.

NO RELATIONSHIP, NO BENEFITS
You shouldn’t feel pressured into being someone you’re not or doing something that you would otherwise never do.

Telling a woman you’re not ready for a relationship but expecting her to give you relationship benefits is abuse. It’s confusing, it’s hurtful.” – R. H. Sin

There may come a day when you really like this guy. This may be the first guy you really like in years. But you don’t want to ‘scare’ him off, you want him to like you, so when he tells you that he doesn’t want a relationship (‘officially’) you may initially say you don’t know what to think about that, but when he rolls his eyes, you give in. Because you’re scared he might find someone else, and you know what – he probably will.

All that means is – he doesn’t reach YOUR standards. This kind of person doesn’t respect anyone else’s values other than his own.

And if he doesn’t want the same thing as you, tough. You know what you want from a relationship, or the very least you know what you don’t want, so why waste your time on someone who doesn’t meet your goals?

And the same goes for your friends – why should you invest everything into maintaining a relationship when they don’t invest anything? Why should you always be the one friend that’s left behind?  

DON’T BE AFRAID TO SAY NO
Some guys may call you a bitch if you say no to a date, giving them your phone number, or even accept a drink from them.

I find it hard not to give a guy my phone number because I’m honestly afraid of their reaction in person. I don’t want an annoying asshole ruining my night by asking ‘why’. No – is a sufficient enough answer and persistence won’t change it. So I give them my number because I know it will be easier to say no over the phone. Even though I’ve gotten quite a few long and angry text messages back, even calling me a bitch, I’d still rather take that over a public display of crybabiness, any day.

PUT RESPECT FIRST, AND LIKE SECOND
Stop walking on eggshells.

Don’t be afraid to say what you want, so you won’t scare him or her off.

Stop holding in your feelings about a certain situation so you won’t hurt someone’s feelings.

What about your feelings? Why would they even think about your emotions if you don’t acknowledge what you’re feeling?

Nobody is going to put you first unless you start thinking of yourself first.                  
                                                                                                   
The way you treat yourself are the standards you set for other people. So, if you’re suppressing your feelings, thinking they’re not important – so will they.

Stop wanting to be liked so much you forget about respecting yourself, real life is not facebook.

BE PASSIONATE
Be passionate about what you want, what you like, or what you do. Many will dismiss what you do, especially if what you do is art. They will be condescending, but don’t let their narrow view of the subject affect you or your opinions.

Be loud about your opinions. Argue for them. And don’t let them call you ‘angry’ just because they don’t recognize passion.

If you don’t stand for something, you’ll fall for everything.” – Malcolm X

Respect other people’s opinions, but don’t let them diminish yours.



The woman you pursue is a reflection of you, your ambition and your level of class. Or lack of thereof.

So don’t stay quiet with a smile on your face just to be liked. People who want that from you don’t like you, anyway.

If having standards means being a bitch, than I'm a bitch.


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Note: All the photos were taken from Pixbay - the photos are free for personal and commercial use, no attribution required. 
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