Why Do People Settle In Their Twenties: 6 Ways to Be Happy About Being Single In You Twenties

Do you have any idea what a pain in the ass is being single in mid-twenties? Especially for a girl. Especially for a girl in Slovenia. Most of my generation is married, or engaged, or have a kid or two, or they are in a serious relationship. And all you get from them is pity looks and shit advice like: ‘don’t worry, you’ll find someone’ – doesn’t this sentence just piss you off?

The thing is – I’ve always watched American and English shows and movies, and it seemed like this kind of thing happens when you’re thirty.

What is it with people my age in my country? Is it because of a different culture, different environment we live in? Is it because of tradition (our parents were married by our age)? What is it that makes the majority of people in my country want to marry and have kids at 23, 24, 25 years of age? It must be something in the tap water.

And, it’s not like your family, or your country makes it easier for you. We are bombarded by every single media – every single year may I add – by articles about how the best time to have kids is when you’re in your twenties, and how our population is declining because we don’t want to have kids – that’s right – the country is blaming the generation that can’t get a job, because senile old farts won’t retire, for not having babies. They won’t give us jobs, which means we can’t move out on our own, and with all that in mind why the hell would we even consider having children? And if we have children, we certainly won’t have them for the country. I don’t know if you’ve heard – but days of communism are over.

The media is constantly placing pressure on young people to have children as soon as possible, in a country that has nothing to offer either to them or their offspring. When they are talking about having children they’re always only mentioning women. Why is that? It’s not like we can make a baby on our own. They’re going on and on about female biological clock, but they never speak about male biological clock. That’s right fellas, you’ve got one too; your seed does not get better with age, it’s quite the opposite. But hey – I don’t blame you for not knowing, the media is still so backwards it only pesters the women.

We even have that one crazy bitch (and I don’t mean that as a compliment) who steps on every female right; she thinks that raped women should be forced to have children because, and I quote – ‘it would make them happy’, she thinks young people should have at least three children – ‘one to replace the mother, one to replace the father, and one for the country’. This shit of a human being dared to be a presidential candidate this year! But then again, after Trump had won, every nut job thinks they can run a country.

I hate men who step on female rights, but I admit – I hate women who do it, more. It feels like cannibalism. It feels like being betrayed by those who should stand by you because they are, well, you.

It feels like a never ending competition, doesn’t it?

I see guys in their twenties competing over jobs, who has a better career, who gets more money, and I love that. But on the other side I see girls competing in who has a better relationship, who is engaged, and who is married – I hate that, yet I can’t helped but to be sucked into this competition. I’m actually not even eligible to be in this competition, yet I somehow want to win.

It is a terrible feeling to feel as your relationship status defines your worth. It’s a terrible feeling to be jealous of your friends who are in relationships. 

Not being in a relationship doesn’t mean you’re losing at a game, you’re simply - single. Perhaps the thing that makes us feel bad the most is social media – you’re constantly viewing pictures, new engagement statuses, basically a bunch of people that started off from the same place as you are shoving their love life in your face. And it makes you feel bad because you’re unknowingly comparing yourself to them. Plus, their pity looks are really no help at all.

So here are some things that make me feel better about being single in my twenties:

      1.      Personal space.
When you’re in relationship you’re constantly thinking of that other person – when are you going to meet, should you text him, when should you spend the night, basically you take a bunch of their crap and make it your own. I like my alone time. I like only thinking about myself. I like spending a weekend by myself, no drama, only the one on TV. Your time is your own, you don’t have to consider anyone else.

      2.      Spend money only on yourself.
I know guys like to complain about how much money they ‘waste’ on a girl, but hey, here in Europe it goes that same for both genders. Buying dinner half the time, buying them gifts for Christmas and birthday, just buying stuff and going out is expensive. But when you’re single – you can spend all that money on yourself. Treat yourself like your sorry ass would treat them. Only you deserve the best, others must earn it.

      3.      No constant shaving and waxing.
Do you have any idea how tiresome this shit is? Especially for girls, akhem, a little more on the hairy side. To shave every day, or wax every freaking week – the time it takes, not to mention the pain – nah, not worth it.

      4.      You can do whatever you want in bed.
That’s right. You can watch movies on your laptop long into the night, and, you can even eat in your bed. Plus, there’s no one stealing your covers.

      5.      Listen to Taylor Swift.
I don’t know why, I just find myself in her lyrics over and over again. And in Demi Lovato’s lately for some reason. Basically, you can listen to whatever music you like without snarky comments or lame add-ins on your playlist.

      6.      Invest your time into doing what you love.
Because you have all time to yourself – you can do whatever you like whenever you like. You can spend the time writing, singing, drawing, basically, you can spend more time doing what you love, building on yourself and making yourself and your skills better.

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” Nora Ephron


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